”“Hmm. Maybe so. Now, if I ever have a relaxed opportunity to talk to her, maybe I can mention the whole gender fluidity thing, and there’s nothing wrong with attraction.”“Harold, then let me ask, are you attracted to men?”“The answer is complicated. When, in my other life, I was in situations like a dorm, where there were no women, I certainly experimented with men and enjoyed it. When, later in life, women were available, I didn’t find men attractive to me under usual circumstances.“But as might be relevant here, I once had a woman point out that I definitely liked watching women with one another -- why shouldn’t she enjoy watching men, and then having me facilitate it? I couldn’t give her a reason not. That established that for me, if a woman wanted me to play with a man as part of group sex, and she participated enthusiastically, it was fine with me.”“That’s probably too complicated for Shelley at this point. But I’m really completely cool with women playing with other women.”“As. I tried it on my own at first, with razors or Nair (a painful mistake), before I resigned myself to the humiliation of returning to the spa. I became a regular client of Lucy's, the petit brunette who had first serviced me. She got a great laugh out of my tattoo upon my return to her, though she grew more like a sister to me over time. She seemed to appreciate my consistently generous tips and I think she sensed my deepening sadness as yet another session would come and go with no contact from Miss.Rebecca stopped calling after a month or so and even my closest friends got tired of my malaise. Acquaintances at work would ask now and again if I was okay but that petered out as well, no doubt since my monosyllabic responses gave them nothing to work with. Perhaps they were afraid one day I would actually tell them.I had been so sure she would return at first, but than certainty faded as the weeks went by. Hadn't I been good? Obedient? She had come back before so why not now? Was she.
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